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Van Stone
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Van Stone
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The Gods of Thunder ascended from Hell and f*cked you in the ears, real hard, 'til they bleed.
Weve had a lot of you Van Stoniacs askin: Where this band came from and Who are they? So hopefully this will shut your yap. Van Stone is Palmdales number 3 rock band, right behind number 1 Skirge and number 2 Wind Jammer Duh. Randy and Lonnie Van Stone are fraternal twin brothers that live at home with their mom. They met Glenn Wolfe in high school, he taught them how to get high by sniffing Soft Scrub and other bathroom cleaning products. A few years back while getting drunk, they were hangin' down at the train tracks and throwing rocks at a light pole. That's when they hooked up with Alexis Patinkov, aka Mr. Bonze, the drummer. Hes originally from the former Yugoslavia and speaks little English, but man can he drum. That night, they decided to form a mercenary group like the "A-team" and fight bad dudes, help over throw South American governments, and bang Hot Chix! After, being denied several times for gun licenses and unable to find a large black dude with a mowhawk that could weld. They decided to go to plan B, FORM A BAND, this way they can at least bang Hot Chix and maybe, if they tour through South America over throw a government! They found a guitar dude named BC Rich, maybe youve heard of him, thats right the legendary BC Rich, turns out he lives right here in Palmdale. They wrote songs based on Freedom and the American way, sex drugs, and rock-n-roll, and created a sound that could be used to score the apocalypse. Everything was cool, untill tragedy struck. BC lost his hand in meat grinding accident. NOTE TO KIDS: dont try to make homemade gourmet sausages while high on prescription narcotics. So now they got a new guitar player, hes really from Lancaster, but they jumped him in. His names Cliff Stienberger. A lot people mistake him for a skinhead but hes just a bald guy that shaves it tight, like Bruce Willis. When are comb-overs going to be punk again? Anyway, if you know any large black dudes with a mowhawk that can weld . Send him Van Stones way. Because one of these days, when youre in trouble, and youve got no one else to turn to. You may need to call on: Van Stone. LIVE STONED!
Band/artist history
Weve had a lot of you Van Stoniacs askin: Where this band came from and Who are they? So hopefully this will shut your yap. Van Stone is Palmdales number 3 rock band, right behind number 1 Skirge and number 2 Wind Jammer Duh. Randy and Lonnie Van Stone are fraternal twin brothers that live at home with their mom. They met Glenn Wolfe in high school, he taught them how to get high by sniffing Soft Scrub and other bathroom cleaning products. A few years back while getting drunk, they were hangin' down at the train tracks and throwing rocks at a light pole. That's when they hooked up with Alexis Patinkov, aka Mr. Bonze, the drummer. Hes originally from the former Yugoslavia and speaks little English, but man can he drum. That night, they decided to form a mercenary group like the "A-team" and fight bad dudes, help over throw South American governments, and bang Hot Chix! After, being denied several times for gun licenses and unable to find a large black dude with a mowhawk that could weld. They decided to go to plan B, FORM A BAND, this way they can at least bang Hot Chix and maybe, if they tour through South America over throw a government! They found a guitar dude named BC Rich, maybe youve heard of him, thats right the legendary BC Rich, turns out he lives right here in Palmdale. They wrote songs based on Freedom and the American way, sex drugs, and rock-n-roll, and created a sound that could be used to score the apocalypse. Everything was cool, untill tragedy struck. BC lost his hand in meat grinding accident. NOTE TO KIDS: dont try to make homemade gourmet sausages while high on prescription narcotics. So now they got a new guitar player, hes really from Lancaster, but they jumped him in. His names Cliff Stienberger. A lot people mistake him for a skinhead but hes just a bald guy that shaves it tight, like Bruce Willis. When are comb-overs going to be punk again? Anyway, if you know any large black dudes with a mowhawk that can weld . Send him Van Stones way. Because one of these days, when youre in trouble, and youve got no one else to turn to. You may need to call on: Van Stone. LIVE STONED!
Have you performed in front of an audience?
Mr. Cues, The Warped Tour, The Palmdale Speedway
Your musical influences
Right now I'm only under the influence of Cocaine, Meth, Beer, Pills, and Weed. Peer pressure, especially from the Cool Kids and Hot Chicks. and Mr. Lynch from 8th grade science class, he made me realize I didn't want to be a cock sucking asshole like him, fuck bunsen burners! When we write songs we like to rip off a lot of people, but mostly these guys in no particular order NAKED RAYGUN, FLAP, FANG, JIM O'ROARK, SLINT, BOYD RICE, DAG NASTY, KING FACE, COLTRANE, HIGH KARATE, ZEN GUERILLA, STEVE ALBINI, SCREAMING JAY HAWKINS, BRAINIAC, TURBONEGRO, J MASICS, CHEAP TRICK, HAWKWIND, MEATMEN, ROB CROW, TANNER, KARP, TUBEWAY ARMY, DAVID YOW, JOHN RIESE, NUEROSIS, HAMMERHEAD, SIX FINGER SATELLITE, WEIRDOS, DEATH FROM ABOVE, VAZ, COWS, BLOOD BROTHERS, TRANS AM, VOIVOD, MUD HONEY, CAPTAIN BEEFHEART, CHEECH & CHONG, ROD McCUEN, ZOLAR X, DICTATORS, ZAPPA, MENTORS, RICK DEES (DISCO DUCK), BUCKNER & GARCIA (PAC MAN FEVER), AND CHUCK FUCKIN' BERRY! And the rest of the OBVIOUS bands that have their names on T-shirts that sell at your local Headshop or Spencers etc... You know 'em.
What equipment do you use?
The Buzz Saw Guitar, The Mace Bass, The Axe Axe
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