So my grandma just started dying. She was in the hospital in the CCU again. And I had just tried Xanax for the first time. I was getting pretty suicidal, so I made this. It's basically about wanting to take so many drugs that I die.

I can only get so high, so high. If only you were here...if only you were here... I can only get so high, if only you were real. I can only get so high, to make the pain disappear. I can only get so high, to hide all of my lies. I can only get so high, before I die. Before I die. Do you think I give a fuck? I can only get so high, if only you were real. I can only get so high, to make the pain disappear. I can only get so high, to hide all of my lies. I can only get so high, before I die. Before I'll die. Take me away. Please. (sound of a hammer coming down on a gun)