Beat by Don T. Dontbeats.com
True mostly
god knows the hate
within this reprobate
piece of shit
cant
be controlled or fixed
I dont court anything unless
its flirting with death
take your mark
and ya meds
on the ready set
go
rush them to D-TOME
imma pop em make em gone
from one to twenty fourth
till Im back knocking on the door
sometime between one and four
in the morn
trying to cope some more
catching neighbors scorn
cuz I rolled in laying
on the horn
waking up their corn
they started jibber jabber
saying haw
with a country draw
chewin on some straw
pulled that out his jaw
tooted up some raw
took it to the nog
I beat all he ever saw
I be quick up on the draw
shredded you up like slaw
with a four fifth in my paw
make your ho dip on my balls
and you knows it wasnt false
heard it through them walls
talking more shit than a bathroom stall
walking tall since the day I was small
split your face with a maul
what you say ? call the law
oh ok now wait. Im appalled
I guess I can say
I aint like yall snitches
pushing everything
to the limits
take this to the max
trying to increase digits
piling up them stacks
living with these idgits
in this ignorance
I just cant relax
I stay bended up sinning
and just livin with it so it
seems fitting to begin at the ending
considering everything seems
twisted up and mixed ever since
4:20 fourteen
when my dad went to sleep
after that life seemed so cheap
I wont lie it cut me deep
even to this day
inside I seethe
feeling so cheated
had a son on the way
I just wanted him to get to see him
I remember hitting knees pleading
asking him to let him stay
before calling his soul to leave
and come up to the gate
my heart on my sleeve
stopped praying on that date
when he left so did my belief
I used to get so mad
hyperventilate
I would Look up at sky and scream
hurt me so bad
I wont deny I was lost in my grief
for a long time after that
i would drink getting mean
up to July 4 of 2016
drunk in public changed me
in a way that two duis and AA
couldnt when I was 18.
dont really know how I achieved
sobriety something changed inside me
that night in pain on the floor I lay
in the drunk tank so dehydrated
my liver shrank
I could feel everything
Id quiver and then shake
screaming for a break
not much more I could take
wreching blood in the sank
I think it may have been the demon
inside my DNA clinging as I was dry heaving
the next day I listened to my wife explain
she would be leaving
Things could not remain the same
if I could not refrain
from being such a waste
I promised with haste
and apologized in disgrace
all the while admiring her face
wondering how she stayed
in love with such a nut case
but over time that guy was erased
so I hit my prime and replaced m
getting high with the paper chase
but nine to fives have always made
my mind ache slide into a malaise
seeing other guys do the same thing
everyday never asking why
or showing hate
never complain
for the lies they take
but Ive always been this way
its not that Im lazy
its just I cant accept trading moments
of my short life for
an insanely low wage
which you lose
after bills get paid
Im the hardest worker you will ever meet
but once I see that I get no thanks
and no raise
Im bound to leave
I got kids to raise
they need me
Fire in my veins,
echoes I'm my head
these drugs scrambling
my brains stay wishing I was dead
god grab my life by the reins
or just let me take my last breath
I dread what next